Search Light

I hear you calling me through the mist.

I take a step further, closer to your scent.

Wrap a lasso of your heart strings around my waist.

Coil my loins with your belt of chase satisfactions.


I know it’s time to go deeper.

My eyes lose focus. I’m disoriented by my toxicity.

Remind me how it feels to be in your arms.

Help me remember and touch me more intensely than ever before.


Danger surrounds me everywhere I look.

I have this beautiful baby to protect in this world full of hate and barbarian killings.

I see you.

It’s not safe just to run to you from the house I’m safe in.




  One more time. 



You heard me. You smile.

You run towards me, leaving everything and everyone behind. I am all you see.

I hesitate for safety’s sake, but I am always safe with you.

I run like an antelope- nothing can stop me.


Oh, the joy and freedom of running to you!

When we reach one another, our bodies and souls collide and fold into one another.

I hold him as tightly as my muscular arms will allow.

“You’ve gotten stronger,” he smile at me warmly.


“Oh Matt, I’ve always known!

I’ve always known!



“Soulmates,” we state in a unison that seems to join our combined souls even further.

“Travel with us.” I knew he’d say yes.

As we journey together, he holds my hand. I know we will live and not die.

My protector is here. We follow the light.











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Wherever I Go, There I Am.

I’ve been running from this poison-

Traveling far and wide to escape its stench.

Duct taping gaps where windows meet walls.

Excommunicating carriers assigned to place it in my most intimate and vulnerable parts.

I’ll do anything to get away from this deadly must, which causes my skin to crawl and my soul to ache.


The sun rises early this morning.

My eyes… trying to adjust.

Black sap on my pillow.

I look to and fro to see who’s responsible, yet I am alone.

I touch my face.

Looking at my fingers, I feel woozy.

A weapon formed to destroy me, seeping from the inside out.

I am the poison.



I love you.
Don’t speak.
I know you don’t love me back.

Don’t come back here.
My heart no longer welcomes
Those who bait it with raw meat

Like a lion in a cage being teased
By a carcass hanging in a playful way.
“She likes it when she thinks she has to hunt.”

Lies consume my soul. It hurts every time.
Brings the demons out of my throat
And encourages me to dance naked and ashamed.


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Closer Love

My arms are sore from moving this oversized search light franticly across the land.

Desperately hoping for a view of love or a pain reducing find.

But then I feel a little boy by my side. He slides his tiny fingers into my hand.

Suddenly I realize my supposed lack of fulfillment existed solely in my mind.


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